Okay, tonight we will call this blog "Getting Real with Jill"... cheesy, I know. But who cares... I am getting real.
So, people over the last two months have asked me, "How have you adjusted to having two kids?" For the first three weeks, I said, "GREAT! No sweat." The next three weeks, I said, "It's an adjustment." Now, if someone were to ask me that, I would say, "This has been hard!" with a possible tear in my eye that with sheer will I keep from falling down my face.
Now, as most of you know, I REALLY like to plan, be ahead and think before the curveball is thrown... you know, all that Type A baloney. Also translated by some as being a controlfreak. Well, yes, I am. Nice to meet you.
But see here, that does not work super well with adding a second child to your house. No, sir. I have had more things go wrong or change in the last two months. Not all bad and certainly not all good.... one great! However, I have realized (as I have had to learn this SAME DANG LESSON like 400 trillion times) that it is not necessarily about the CHANGE that you are going through but the WAY you handle it.
I am a controlfreak... imagine how I have handled it. Yeah, not a good color on me.
I literally have been saying to God whilst shaking my fist in the air a la Scarlett O'Hara, "I just need one thing to go right. Just one thing!" Griping at God and your parents doesn't get you anywhere, kids. (but sometimes it does make you feel better for awhile :) )
So, as I was laying down counting my woes, I said to Mason, "I am tired of going to bed so emotionally exhausted. Good thing Suzie sleeps through the night."
This is where God says, "Hey, nerd, took you long enough to figure that out!"... not really... that is what I say to myself. God says, "There you go, Jill! Your one thing!"
Thank you, Lord, for my one thing you have given me!
So, I have babbled on long enough about my emotional roller coaster that is probably going to take awhile to get off of. I just wanted to say that amidst all the craziness that you may be going through, ask Him for just one thing if that's all you can do and He will deliver again and again. I am living proof of that.
This is dedicated to my beautiful sleeping daughter... I would rather have gone through all this five more times than not have you here. I love you, Suzie!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Sometimes you need a little inspiration...
Anna Paquin
Maggie Grace
New York City in the snow
Zach Galifianakis
Edgar Degas
Tom Hanks
Beethoven
Super Sweet Car
Thank you, Yahoo, for providing these images and making my day inspirational!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Changing It Up
I am not sure what the dealio is with the football references lately... maybe it is the hot summer months that have me thinking about the bliss of the fall. COLD, WE MISS YOU! Well, I do anyway.In the movie, Remember the Titans, Herman Boone is taking a newly integrated football players and making them a championship team. At their summer training camp, he is yelling at them during practice: WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY WE RUN! WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY WE EAT! WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY WE TACKLE! WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE WAY WE WIN!
After remembering this scene today, I thought of two things. One, I am so glad is not the norm for chicks to play football. I would have either told off Coach Boone or sat on the sidelines and cried. Two, sometimes if we want dramatic results in our life... that's right... we have to change some things up.
To say that I have to change EVERYTHING about my life to achieve happiness would be both overwhelming and impossible. However, I am seeing distinct areas in my life where God is saying, "That... that right there... needs to change." Sometimes change is about thinking out of the box, getting more creative, working smarter and not harder.
So, I think I will. Life's getting more exciting by the minute...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Inadvertently Changed
In January 2010, I was doing my usual bit: watching all movies nominated for Academy Awards. (Waste of time? I think not!) In one of the movies, The Blind Side, a well-off family takes in a homeless high school student, who also happens to be an amazing football player. In one of the scenes, the mom , LeighAnn Tuohy, is having lunch with her friends at a fancy restaurant. One of her pals says, "LeighAnn, you are changing that boy's life." To which she immediately replied, "No... he's changing mine."
Rewind about 6 months... I am standing on a cement slab covered by a very carefully placed tent with about 200 people. About twenty of us were Americans and the other 180 were African pastors from all over East Africa. We had more looks and smiles to exchange than words due to the language barrier. We were all waiting patiently for the session to start... and this was the important one: every single pastor in that tent was getting a brand new bible concordance for them to take home. Some of them had been preaching out of one book of the Bible their whole ministry, so you can understand the unspoken excitement in the room (tent). AND I... the American, who had about five Bibles in her house and three computers with Bible Gateway at her fingertips, was going to help hand out the concordances to them. I am changing these pastor's lives.
On the contrary...
So, we start teaching them about how to use this new reference book and I am watching them all. The way they carefully turn the pages as to not tear it. Their backs hunched over with noses close to the page to focus completely on the words. Hands being raised to ask questions so to be SURE to know how to use this wonderful book. Then, later... the pastors would carry these concordances around to be sure to have it if they needed it. I would see them lounging on the grass between sessions reading through it and studying. Their commitment and thirst for knowledge was amazing. Didn't I change their lives? No... they changed mine.
They reminded me to not waste my resources. They reminded me to not take my blessings for granted. They reminded me that giving is not all about what I am doing for the other person, but to look and hear what God wants to teach me through giving. They reminded me that petty situations are exactly that in comparison to what our REAL purpose is.
So, GIVE and be changed.
Mission Barnabas International is the amazing organization that I worked with in Nairobi for the pastors' conference. They have many opportunities for anyone to be involved on whatever level they want to participate: financial giving, donating items to be shipped to Africa and many more. Check out their website to see how you can be a part! You can also be their fan on Facebook.
Monday, June 6, 2011
What Made Tonight An Amazing Night
Having the laundry done in one day.
Shopping for the week and not having to think about that anymore.
Eating dinner with my family that took me 15 minutes to make.
Listening to Zeke correctly say his "r"s and "l"s and hearing him giggle every time we ask him to say a word with those letters.
Watching Suzie doze on and off while there is the din of the evening around her.
Working together with Mason to out our kids to bed while Pandora old school jazz is playing in the background.
Bathing Suzie and rocking her to sleep after reading her "Goodnight Moon" for the first time.
Singing Zeke his favorite song like I do every night. No matter how old he gets, he still likes to hear it.
Goodnight noises everywhere.
Shopping for the week and not having to think about that anymore.
Eating dinner with my family that took me 15 minutes to make.
Listening to Zeke correctly say his "r"s and "l"s and hearing him giggle every time we ask him to say a word with those letters.
Watching Suzie doze on and off while there is the din of the evening around her.
Working together with Mason to out our kids to bed while Pandora old school jazz is playing in the background.
Bathing Suzie and rocking her to sleep after reading her "Goodnight Moon" for the first time.
Singing Zeke his favorite song like I do every night. No matter how old he gets, he still likes to hear it.
Goodnight noises everywhere.
Friday, April 29, 2011
A Royal Wedding
Okay, so I know it is incredibly cliche for me to blog about the royal wedding, but I must say I have to! There are very few events that I enjoy more than weddings, whether working at them or attending them. It is so special to be there to witness two people officially proclaiming they love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.
The funny thing about weddings is that they are all the same. Now, don't get all weird on me. They are different in style, size, culture and, in this case, stress level! However, the purpose is the same: to bring two individuals together as one.
Now, there were things that I saw during the broadcast (watched this evening, I did not get up or stay up to watch it live) that I have seen at every wedding. Most importantly, the look on Princess Catherine's face as she was going down the aisle looked the same as I have seen in MANY brides: I am nervous, I am happy, I can't wait to see my groom and I had better not trip. It was so great! So human despite the media frenzy and pomp and circumstance surrounding her. I loved it.
I know I am not British. (duh, I am German, ask Lori) But I really hope the best for these two despite all the craziness around them. Laugh if you want! Hey, at least I didn't cry while I watched their wedding like I do everyone else's. Yes, my wonderful Selah brides, nine times out of ten I cry at weddings. So, chances are, I cried at yours. :)
Here's to the opening of wedding season!
The funny thing about weddings is that they are all the same. Now, don't get all weird on me. They are different in style, size, culture and, in this case, stress level! However, the purpose is the same: to bring two individuals together as one.
Now, there were things that I saw during the broadcast (watched this evening, I did not get up or stay up to watch it live) that I have seen at every wedding. Most importantly, the look on Princess Catherine's face as she was going down the aisle looked the same as I have seen in MANY brides: I am nervous, I am happy, I can't wait to see my groom and I had better not trip. It was so great! So human despite the media frenzy and pomp and circumstance surrounding her. I loved it.
I know I am not British. (duh, I am German, ask Lori) But I really hope the best for these two despite all the craziness around them. Laugh if you want! Hey, at least I didn't cry while I watched their wedding like I do everyone else's. Yes, my wonderful Selah brides, nine times out of ten I cry at weddings. So, chances are, I cried at yours. :)
Here's to the opening of wedding season!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
28 Hours
Starting point: Target on Denton Highway....
4:30 Have Zeke and Clara Matheny in the car. Going up the correct side of the parking lot. Chick in a Jeep Cherokee type car is cutting across parking lot in between cars and hits my front left wheel well and quarter panel.
4:31 Off duty deputy sheriff calls 911
4:40 Every single member of the Watauga fire station, EMT brigade and one policeman show up. Yes, sirens on and lights flashing. Aces. Zeke is elated. Pretty sure Clara was embarrassed.
4:45 Blood pressure taken, fine. Dr. Wiggy called, no-go on ambulance ride. Note to send him muffin basket later for saving me from embarrasment.
4:50 All of the said public servants were working on finding my spare tire and jack. Who can be the manliest and find it first? Turns out the policeman won.
5:00 (This will pick up I promise) Tire is changed. Clara is with Lori. Zeke is with me asking me to crash the car again.
5:15 Home unloading melting groceries and Zeke has an accident. He opts to eat a bowl of his new Cocoa Puffs while wearing only, and I mean only, a shirt. I did not even notice until he was done.
6:00 Try to make sense of my house.
6:05 Give up
7:30 Start feeling sore around my ribs and abdomen. Noting too bad, but I decide to call Dr. Pam. She says come over. I call my angel of a mother-in-law to come over for Zeke duty. Put Zeke in tub.
8:00 Leave house. Pick up wine for Dr. Pam for doing an adjustment at 8:30 at night.
8:30 Adjusted, feeling better, go home.
10:30 Mason is woken up to read on a Facebook message that his wife was in an accident (sent by me of course). He calls immediately. I feel bad for starting his day like that.
12:30 Go to bed after watching a disappointing DWTS and doing the laundry.
7:30 Wake up, get Zeke to school and on my way to the doctor.
9:15 Insurance lady from Jeep chick's company calls... here we go.
9:20 Injury report time. I casually mention that I went to a chiropractor last night. Sirens went off in the lady's office and I hear something about a code red in the background. WE HAVE AN INJURY CLAIM. The guy will call me later. Can't wait.
10:15 Dr. Wiggy appointment. All is good. Suzie is safe, measuring fine and fantastic. Nurse lady informs me that I am only supposed to gain 25 pounds while pregnant. I have gained 27 this far and have 7 weeks to go. I stare at her blankly a la Homer Simpson and leave.
11:00 Injury claim guy meets me at Starbucks. He has to see me to make sure I am whole. He does offer me a claim check way over what I needed or expected. (A blessing!) Asked me to sign a piece of paper. I told him I am one of those '60s housewives whose husbands like to look over everything. He says fine, call later. Fanatastic.
12:20 Try to eat lunch fast while sitting in a resturant. Looks like I have not eaten in five days whilst doing it. I don't really care.
12:50 Get a rental car. Guy at rental car place tries to give me the rental insurance. No, thanks.
1:30 Pick up Zeke and realize that the seat belts do not lock in this car. This is a problem.
1:35 Have to pick up phone charger from house to call rental car place and complain about this. Coming out of the house, I almost slip and bust my bum on the slippery linoleum floor. Say words that I will not post in this blog.
1:40 Call poor, defenseless rental car guy. He says this is new in cars. The seat belts have sensors now and will lock on impact. Great. Let's hope the guy at the factory installed that correctly.
2:00 Pick up Hudson the Hurricane.
2:15 Pick up Ellie after her teacher lectured me on having the sign with Ellie's name on it propped up correctly because it was difficult to read. Yeah, lady, that is what I am concerned with right now. Helping you read. I know that sounds mean, just saying how I felt.
2:30 Chat with Mason about car ordeal.
3:00 Kids all are melting down.. something about a mask being broken or something. All of them are sent to bed.
5:00 Meredith picks up Zeke because God has ordained her to make my life easier at very opportune times.
5:30 For some reason, I have Ellie and Hudson "help" me vacuum out the couches. Why? I have no idea.
6:00 Put Ellie and Hudson in the car. Leave Stringers' garage door opener and the last set of Xterra keys on the back of the rental car. Drive off. Realize I don't have them. Starting crying. Go home. Nowhere to be found. More crying. Drive slowly the way I came to try and see them. Find the keys. Random person asks me if I am okay. I give him the "It's not you, it's me" look. He understands. Drive by the decimated garage door opener. Anticipate sister's wrath.
6:10 Call mom. More crying.
6:30 Mom meets me with keys to the Stringer home and bathes the children probably as a penance for already calling my sister and laughing about my peril on the phone. I decide to forgive her.
7:00 Leave the Stringers' house.
7:01 Almost hit a cat.
I miss Mason.
4:30 Have Zeke and Clara Matheny in the car. Going up the correct side of the parking lot. Chick in a Jeep Cherokee type car is cutting across parking lot in between cars and hits my front left wheel well and quarter panel.
4:31 Off duty deputy sheriff calls 911
4:40 Every single member of the Watauga fire station, EMT brigade and one policeman show up. Yes, sirens on and lights flashing. Aces. Zeke is elated. Pretty sure Clara was embarrassed.
4:45 Blood pressure taken, fine. Dr. Wiggy called, no-go on ambulance ride. Note to send him muffin basket later for saving me from embarrasment.
4:50 All of the said public servants were working on finding my spare tire and jack. Who can be the manliest and find it first? Turns out the policeman won.
5:00 (This will pick up I promise) Tire is changed. Clara is with Lori. Zeke is with me asking me to crash the car again.
5:15 Home unloading melting groceries and Zeke has an accident. He opts to eat a bowl of his new Cocoa Puffs while wearing only, and I mean only, a shirt. I did not even notice until he was done.
6:00 Try to make sense of my house.
6:05 Give up
7:30 Start feeling sore around my ribs and abdomen. Noting too bad, but I decide to call Dr. Pam. She says come over. I call my angel of a mother-in-law to come over for Zeke duty. Put Zeke in tub.
8:00 Leave house. Pick up wine for Dr. Pam for doing an adjustment at 8:30 at night.
8:30 Adjusted, feeling better, go home.
10:30 Mason is woken up to read on a Facebook message that his wife was in an accident (sent by me of course). He calls immediately. I feel bad for starting his day like that.
12:30 Go to bed after watching a disappointing DWTS and doing the laundry.
7:30 Wake up, get Zeke to school and on my way to the doctor.
9:15 Insurance lady from Jeep chick's company calls... here we go.
9:20 Injury report time. I casually mention that I went to a chiropractor last night. Sirens went off in the lady's office and I hear something about a code red in the background. WE HAVE AN INJURY CLAIM. The guy will call me later. Can't wait.
10:15 Dr. Wiggy appointment. All is good. Suzie is safe, measuring fine and fantastic. Nurse lady informs me that I am only supposed to gain 25 pounds while pregnant. I have gained 27 this far and have 7 weeks to go. I stare at her blankly a la Homer Simpson and leave.
11:00 Injury claim guy meets me at Starbucks. He has to see me to make sure I am whole. He does offer me a claim check way over what I needed or expected. (A blessing!) Asked me to sign a piece of paper. I told him I am one of those '60s housewives whose husbands like to look over everything. He says fine, call later. Fanatastic.
12:20 Try to eat lunch fast while sitting in a resturant. Looks like I have not eaten in five days whilst doing it. I don't really care.
12:50 Get a rental car. Guy at rental car place tries to give me the rental insurance. No, thanks.
1:30 Pick up Zeke and realize that the seat belts do not lock in this car. This is a problem.
1:35 Have to pick up phone charger from house to call rental car place and complain about this. Coming out of the house, I almost slip and bust my bum on the slippery linoleum floor. Say words that I will not post in this blog.
1:40 Call poor, defenseless rental car guy. He says this is new in cars. The seat belts have sensors now and will lock on impact. Great. Let's hope the guy at the factory installed that correctly.
2:00 Pick up Hudson the Hurricane.
2:15 Pick up Ellie after her teacher lectured me on having the sign with Ellie's name on it propped up correctly because it was difficult to read. Yeah, lady, that is what I am concerned with right now. Helping you read. I know that sounds mean, just saying how I felt.
2:30 Chat with Mason about car ordeal.
3:00 Kids all are melting down.. something about a mask being broken or something. All of them are sent to bed.
5:00 Meredith picks up Zeke because God has ordained her to make my life easier at very opportune times.
5:30 For some reason, I have Ellie and Hudson "help" me vacuum out the couches. Why? I have no idea.
6:00 Put Ellie and Hudson in the car. Leave Stringers' garage door opener and the last set of Xterra keys on the back of the rental car. Drive off. Realize I don't have them. Starting crying. Go home. Nowhere to be found. More crying. Drive slowly the way I came to try and see them. Find the keys. Random person asks me if I am okay. I give him the "It's not you, it's me" look. He understands. Drive by the decimated garage door opener. Anticipate sister's wrath.
6:10 Call mom. More crying.
6:30 Mom meets me with keys to the Stringer home and bathes the children probably as a penance for already calling my sister and laughing about my peril on the phone. I decide to forgive her.
7:00 Leave the Stringers' house.
7:01 Almost hit a cat.
I miss Mason.
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